We are in the In-Between Time. All of us on this planet are. For me personally, this strange place started last year, when Joe and I began talking about our future. We discussed many possible paths we could take. Most seem(ed) very plausible. Some not so much. We are still in this discussion stage. Nothing definite has been decided…YET. As I was walking this morning, a thought struck me. This In-Between thing is Truth, with a capital T. We all feel it; an expectant waiting kind of place. Joe and I know this feeling all too well. We feel that we are open to anything, anyplace, any challenge that choses us. I personally know that every time we switch gears and start talking about another alternative, I’m like “Yeah, I can see that,” or “Hey I like that place, “or “We could DO that.”
We sold our suburban home and moved to another state at the beginning of this pandemic. And now we are living in Epworth Forest, a small lake community, in a little 100 year-old cottage and loving it. We downsized so much that everything we own fits in this little house and in the garden shed. Talk about FREEING. And we are still not settled. This place and our lives are still in the “IN-BETWEEN” state. With COVID-19 we have been more isolated from family and friends. Being new in the community and starting fresh is hard, since there are no social events we can attend that will help us get assimilated into the community. And I have yet to start attending any church regularly. Not only have I not chosen a church, I’m not even sure what religion I want to embrace.
But this is not a bad place to be. I have been reading Wild Mercy by Mirabia Starr and I am learning so much about the “waiting time”. In this space we can give ourselves permission to do nothing, to accomplish nothing, to not have to be anywhere. Just be. And know that all is well. Ms. Starr is just one of my teachers during this sabbath rest. Another is Caroline Myss. Over the years I have read many of her books on the spiritual journey of the soul and intuition. Now I put on my headphones and listen to her on YouTube. Lately, during this COVID time, she has been talking a lot about energy. She explains how there is a huge field of chaotic energy all around us. And the physical realm is just a manifestation of these forces. From the earth burning herself up, to the islands of plastic floating in our oceans; weather phenomena that should occur once a century, now manifesting with alarming frequency; and of course, the political drama that is driving people in this country into opposing camps. When will it all end?
Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, French philosopher and paleontologist and great mystic of the 20th century, wrote;
“We are impatient of being on the way to something unknown, something new. And yet it is the law of all progress that it is made by passing through some stages of instability— and that it may take a very long time.
Yet, amidst it all, a new consciousness is emerging. As a whole the human race is now voicing what we all know is true. We must start caring for our planet. Racial injustice is real and must be addressed. All persons have the right to be treated with equal dignity, no matter their race, creed, sexuality or their social-economic status. But there are those who are giving in to the negative emotions of fear and anger because their whole paradigm is shifting and they cannot stop it. They are afraid of a future that they do not recognize and so they want to hold onto the past, at all costs.
Caroline Myss tells us that from this chaos a new order is emerging. And according to de Chardin, it will not be easy or fast. This is a time of transition and, as we all know, great change is always preceded by great upheaval and tearing down. So do not be lulled into thinking that once this election is over, or once we have a vaccine to stop this pandemic, all will be well and peaceful. It will not. We all still need to do the hard work of letting go of what has been and embracing this strange new world.
Here is a beautiful meditation that helps me to stay centered while waiting in anticipation and trusting the slow steady work of the Holy Spirit.
There is a good kind of waiting, which trusts the agents of fermentation.
There is a waiting which knows that in pulling away one can more wholly return.
There is the waiting which prepares oneself, which anoints and adorns and makes oneself plump with readiness for love’s return.
There is a good kind of waiting, which doesn’t put oneself on hold but rather adds layers to the grandness of one’s being worthy.
This sweet waiting for one’s fruits to ripen doesn’t stumble over itself to
be the first to give.
But waits for the giving to issue at it’s own graceful pace.
– Toko-pa Turner
From book Belonging